Right now, I'd say on a scale of 1-10 (1-miserable, 10-completely happy), this of course is a subjective scale, as I'd call myself a realist and I find it harder to reach the extreme ends of a scale. However, this kinda thing helps me put things in perspective as it makes me question my judgement, by doing this I'm forced to consider different aspects of my life and look at how they're working out, or not. Perspective is a great thing and really helps ground me, it helps me identify areas of my life I reckon I could improve.
Background info. I've experienced times in my life when I was definitively not happy however I didn't really accept it, you know when your life starts to spiral a little bit, it can be days, weeks, however long until the realisation hits you. I'm sparing you the details as I'm not here asking for pity just offloading I guess. That was five years ago. Today I've learnt to listen to my feelings (may sound a little bit wet but I assure you, you can leave this page at any time) and I can't tell how much better I feel for it. Over the last couple of years when I've felt seriously unhappy I've stopped, taken some time for myself and critically assessed my life. I've made changes, mainly lifestyle changes, I decided to look after my body, I acknowledged I was consuming far too many Kronenburgs, (disclaimer I'm not saying ceasing to drink beer will make you instantly happy, nor that you can't be happy and have a pint) and perhaps not giving my body the exercise and shit it needed. Fast forward to now - I still drink (probably still more than recommended - ooooops) and I regularly exercise.
Whilst your physical health can have a significant impact on your happiness, it's super important to recognise that your mental health also plays an important role. During my third year of uni I was unhappy and it took me a long time to deal with it, but I did and I sought out support to do so. I'm a talker but when it comes to talking about real deep shit it's hard but it helped. Whether your support network consists of your family, you friends or someone unknown it's important to know there are people out there who will listen. Sometimes just talking about your thoughts and feelings helps to understand and rationalise them, I know when I bottle things up in my head I'm in serious danger of overthinking and over complicating things.
Sometimes a change of environment is needed, no one should live their daily life doing something that makes them question their happiness. This is why I think it's important to consider aspects of your life that you can change and how you would change them if you could. For me, this meant recognising I wasn't satisfied and accepting that I really wanted a change of environment - mainly I wanted to be in academia. Whilst we can't love everything we do I really believe we shouldn't subject ourselves to doing something that negatively affects our state of mind.
I think what I'm trying to say with this post is that it's okay to take a minute or several to reflect and it's even more okay to do something about it.
Happy picture time.
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| Beacon Hill |
Sorry if this is totally too much info, but sometimes I like offloading.
Ursula x
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