PhD to wannabe socialite...

Good evening guys!

So I'm aware it's been a few weeks since I posted, it's definitely been a busy few weeks so I'm sorry about that. I've been finding my feet and whilst it's all be such fun it's also been quite intense, I'm gonna give a little run down of what I've been up to and also how I've been managing my time! As time management can really make or break your progress.

What have I been up to I hear you asking, well here's the exciting stuff. Reading. I've been doing a lot of reading. And by that I do not mean casually skimming a book here and there. I mean true academic reading. I'm sure lots of you are aware of what I mean by that but for those of you that don't, what I mean by academic reading is the process of first of all finding relevant information, digesting that information, and making notes and processing such info. It's quite amazing how long properly reading something can take, it's easy to spend hours on a couple of papers because either they're majorly interesting or incredibly complex to understand. The process of passing your eyes across the words might not actual take all that long but note taking, recording what you read, how you found it, any comments you may have really does take a while. Most researchers will tell you they have a database of what they read, when they read, why they read the paper and any thoughts they had as a result of reading the paper. Notes notes notes. So important! What's also important is collating all your thoughts which I'm currently in the process of doing, I've read a fair amount and now I'm ready to let that spill out of my brain.

Other academic stuff, meetings, meetings, seminars, lectures, training, etc etc.

Aside from all that desk time what else have I been doing I hear you wonder. Not going to lie, I've probably spent far too long in the gym. It's just so easy to waste hours upon hours in a gym when you not only have a workout to do but also people to socialise with. I'm so glad I joined as not only do I benefit from a structured training programme but I also get to train with some awesome people. My lesson from this is always going to be about how matching hard work with socialising will always make for a well balanced life. I won't bang on about lifting too much as I'm still a novice but it's soo rewarding when numbers go up 🙌.

Oh, and of course I can't forget to mention my fave thing foooood, I've eaten out waaay too much lately. I can't help it as I absolutely love spending time with my pals and especially when it's over a good meal. In the last couple of weeks I've been out for Thai multiple times, pizza, tapas, chinese, steak, and a good burger to mention a few. Shit. Sometimes I wonder why I'm not lean then I remember ha ha. 

Always remember that work life balance. Read a good paper? Have a glass of wine. Wrote a few hundred words? Grab some sushi. Delivered a seminar? Treat yo self to a long gym session. Whatever works.

The most important thing I've learnt about the way I work is that I need to manage my time very carefully and also to plan it! Every Sunday I spend a little time thinking about commitments I have scheduled during the week, the main research goals I want to achieve and how I'm going to compliment that with down time. Then, each evening I have a flick through my diary check whats going on the next day. This is so important to me as I'm able to mentally prepare myself for what's coming up, my diary is easily my best friend atm (love all u other besties too). Of course not every hour of my day is scheduled, although sometimes it feels like that. One thing I observed whilst working and I've noticed it here to, is the scheduling of "desk time", this is great for saying okay I'm going to be at my desk for a solid amount of time, this is great when you're an extremely busy person and need to reserve your time. Whilst I'm not that in demand it's still a good concept, I can mentally say to myself okay I'll spend two hours at my desk followed by a 20-30 minute break. I try my best at the start of each session to spend a little time thinking about what it is I exactly want to do and boy does it help. No point mindlessly opening google scholar if you don't know what you want to discover!

Lists. Lists are also the other key enable to me getting all ma stuff done. Whether it's a list for personal life stuff, such as "register to vote", "book haircut" or more specific academic stuff, lists are so useful for putting into perspective things that need to be achieved immediately as opposed to actions that are a little far into the future.


Hope one of you lovely lot found that enjoyable to read 😊 xx

Enjoy a cheeky pic of me and some friends I met the other weekend.

Happiness, qu'est-ce c'est?

Happiness is a journey not a destination, happiness is a way of life, happiness is a mindset. We've all heard a least one of these sayings before but what actually is happiness? Scientifically, happiness can be defined as the release of "happiness hormones" such as endorphins, dopamine and serotonin but I'm not gonna focus on that, instead I want to reflect on what makes me happy and why it's important to recognise when you're not happy.

Right now, I'd say on a scale of 1-10 (1-miserable, 10-completely happy), this of course is a subjective scale, as I'd call myself a realist and I find it harder to reach the extreme ends of a scale. However, this kinda thing helps me put things in perspective as it makes me question my judgement, by doing this I'm forced to consider different aspects of my life and look at how they're working out, or not. Perspective is a great thing and really helps ground me, it helps me identify areas of my life I reckon I could improve.

Background info. I've experienced times in my life when I was definitively not happy however I didn't really accept it, you know when your life starts to spiral a little bit, it can be days, weeks, however long until the realisation hits you. I'm sparing you the details as I'm not here asking for pity just offloading I guess. That was five years ago. Today I've learnt to listen to my feelings (may sound a little bit wet but I assure you, you can leave this page at any time) and I can't tell how much better I feel for it. Over the last couple of years when I've felt seriously unhappy I've stopped, taken some time for myself and critically assessed my life. I've made changes, mainly lifestyle changes, I decided to look after my body, I acknowledged I was consuming far too many Kronenburgs, (disclaimer I'm not saying ceasing to drink beer will make you instantly happy, nor that you can't be happy and have a pint) and perhaps not giving my body the exercise and shit it needed. Fast forward to now - I still drink (probably still more than recommended - ooooops) and I regularly exercise.

Whilst your physical health can have a significant impact on your happiness, it's super important to recognise that your mental health also plays an important role. During my third year of uni I was unhappy and it took me a long time to deal with it, but I did and I sought out support to do so. I'm a talker but when it comes to talking about real deep shit it's hard but it helped. Whether your support network consists of your family, you friends or someone unknown it's important to know there are people out there who will listen. Sometimes just talking about your thoughts and feelings helps to understand and rationalise them, I know when I bottle things up in my head I'm in serious danger of overthinking and over complicating things.

Sometimes a change of environment is needed, no one should live their daily life doing something that makes them question their happiness. This is why I think it's important to consider aspects of your life that you can change and how you would change them if you could. For me, this meant recognising I wasn't satisfied and accepting that I really wanted a change of environment - mainly I wanted to be in academia. Whilst we can't love everything we do I really believe we shouldn't subject ourselves to doing something that negatively affects our state of mind.

I think what I'm trying to say with this post is that it's okay to take a minute or several to reflect and it's even more okay to do something about it.

Happy picture time.

Beacon Hill

Sorry if this is totally too much info, but sometimes I like offloading.

Ursula x

My biggest fear (and it's not spiders)

Hey chaps,

It's blog time! Get excited as this one's got a bit of grit to it, I'd like to talk about something that I'm sure there's a few of you out there can relate to. The fear of rejection. This is a fear I experience in every aspect of my life, from my career/academic life to my personal life, behind almost everything I do is the fear of rejection. So I'd just like to put it out there and address how I deal with it and maybe someone out there will relate.

I'm only 23 years old young but nonetheless I've experienced rejection in my career. From a young age I seemed to do pretty well for myself, I was successful in part time job applications, my university application, and my social life. Fast forward to my first proper job interview. I interviewed with British Airways, I'd passed the preliminary tests and made it all the way to Heathrow, my gosh it was daunting. Don't get me wrong I loved it, it was enjoyably corporate yet mildly intimidating. I think I knew when I walked out the room that I didn't get it, so of course I held back my tears for a long as possible. Then the tears came. I guess that's my first tip for dealing with rejection, let those tears out baby! Coming from a cry baby I guess that's easy for me to say but in all seriousness, crying is a great stress reliever and once the tears are dry you can start to think objectively about moving onward and upwards.

I've experienced rejection from scholarships and rejections from a PhD application, all of which can be incredibly demoralising! When you put hard work into something and it's not perceived as 'enough' that just doesn't feel great. One thing I've really worked hard at is rationalising things, for example, take an unsuccessful job application, there will be a reason you weren't selected for the post. I know upon reflection that in some instances I haven't possessed the crucial skills for a post when initially I thought I might. Dealing with rejection in this kind of way can really provide self-insights and provide opportunities for you to better yourself. Because let's face the world doesn't end if you don't get x job. Another will come along, and you never know it'll probably be even more your cuppa t!

So, from a different angle I'd like to talk about rejection in my personal life. One of the saddest things in life is losing a friend. I've lost one or two friends over the years, some have just drifted away and others have been slightly more drastic. It's very hard not to take it personally, it's like someone's saying "actually I don't like you and I don't want you in my life". Here, time is the best remedy, you'll be able to accept their decision and perhaps think okay I can understand that maybe we weren't ever going to be long lasting friends. Or if not, you'll find yourself thinking about it less and less.

Also, put your hand up if you've ever been rejected by a romantic interest. *both hands up*. That is a fact of life and I can accept that but especially since the rise of dating apps rejection is so blinking common. One of my biggest insecurities is that I'm always thinking "well, if they're not paying me attention they surely must be paying someone else attention", yes I know that's rather silly but hey I'm human! In these instances it's so important to remember that there are way bigger issues in the world and you aren't going to bloody die if someone doesn't text you back. Bring in the distraction activities, I love a distraction activity, something that gets you away from the life sucking social media (soz for being a hypocrite but sometimes it's good to have some time out), whether it's a gym sesh, wiring a blog post, reading a book or watching mindless tv shows - it all helps.

One thing to remember throughout your life is to celebrate the small wins, without the rejection those wins would not be half as rewarding as they are. Celebrate finding and reading an awesome academic paper (you know it could be the key to the research gap you've been looking for), celebrate doing well in an assignment, celebrate being healthy, having fabulous friends, hitting a PB (personal best) in the gym! In this short life we have so much that is worth celebrating.

I leave you with a picture representing one of my fave achievements at the moment. It's kinda nice being able to say I'm part one of the top ten institutions in the UK (*insert reference*).

As a parting thought, it occurs to me to question whether I'd really strive to be the best I truly can be if I had no fear of rejection?

So that's it, thanks for reading and remember you are fab and you can achieve so much.
Ursula x

Week one, day one.

Hey!

Believe it or not but I survived my first *official* day as a PhD student. I say *official* as over the past two weeks I've been involved in events and coming onto campus a fair bit considering I was meant to be 'taking it easy before I start'. This post is for all you chaps who want to keep up to date with my activities, for those of you who are just curious as to what a PhD student really gets up to and for the rest of you who are a little nosey (I'd probably be the latter if this wasn't my blog).

So let's get to it.

My day started at 7:15, I could probably get up at midday and no one would notice but as I may have said before (or not), I love routine and I'm going to try and stick to a solid routine from the beginning. My first task of the day was to drop by the SBE (school of business and economics) finance office with my passport so they could check I have the right to work in the UK, super simple and easy to ease myself in. Then I made my way to the student enquiries desk, typically when I went to pick up my ID card I didn't take my passport *eye roll* so I needed to swing by and show them as well. I made my way over trying to remember which building this was in and casually strolled in to Hazlerigg when in fact I wanted Rutland, both of which are stunning buildings so can you blame for getting them mixed up? Looking at the queue which was spilling out of the front entrance I thought "sodd this, I can come back when these kids are in lectures" quite funny 'cause I'm definitely still a kid but I just don't have lectures.

Having done attempted to complete a few admin tasks I made my way over to the PhD office I'll be based in - this is basically a big computer room with an unofficial hot-desking policy, so unofficial in fact that all the good desks had been claimed and the desk I was left with was not perfect, I fancied a desk tucked away in a corner preferable near a window but to no avail, I'm stuck in the middle of the room near the door. Beggers can't be choosers though, some of my fellow PhD students have been here 2 years and 8 months and I've been here a day... So I settled in, first thing I did was to write my to-do list. Who doesn't love a list? Like seriously, there's something so satisfying about being able to put a little tick and give yourself a YAY for completing a task. Although, it's probably important the list is realistic, mine was 15 items long. Perhaps a little long but I thought I can carry this over the next few days. I checked my diary to see what I had planned (nothing) and got stuck in. I enrolled onto some events that'll be useful to my development, mainly "what is a literature review?" and "Literature review: best practices" I also booked onto the doctoral college induction, which isn't until November, kinda a little late on but as PhD students start whenever I guess it makes sense, I'm just lucky I started at the start of the academic year. I emailed someone about attending some modules that might be beneficial to my learning, this excites me as I'll get to sit in a lecture environment and take notes, think of the stationary dreamsssss.

I carried this on for a bit, then headed back over to the student enquiries desk, even though there was still a queue I wasn't gonna turn around for a second time. Boring stuff done, I went back to my desk and completed the first part of a teaching module that'll be doing, cause ya know I get to take a few seminars already (I'm still struggling to imagine myself at the front of a class rather than perched on the first row 😆). I was at my desk for an hour or so and I felt my fitbit telling me to move, so I thought perfect opportunity I need to go to the library and IT services so I trekked over there. And yes it really is a trek but I refuse to catch the free shuttle, my legs are fine!

Fast forward a few hours, I've read a few articles, made a few notes, sent a few emails and I'm ready to meet my supervisors. We discussed how I'm going to really get started, in terms of journals to read, papers to search for etc. Not going to lie, I was super excited and I still am! I came away with a new to do list ready for the next day and so here we are. I'm doing #1 which may not be official business but in a way it is, because I'm keeping track of my daily activities and that's a plus for me.

Stay tuned to hear my review of my first complete week, Loughborough's top for so much lets see if they can hit top marks in "Ursula's PhD review: week one".

Peace x
P.S. sorry no piccy this week, and sorry for the excessively long post.

Old habits die hard

Hey guys!

I've been back in Lough for a week and I've enjoyed my free time a lot, it's been so good to take some time to chill and get myself in a healthy head space ready to start my next chapter (which I am so excited for!). I have felt though that it could be so easy to slip into old habits, both good and bad! I suppose the purpose of this blog post is just to make myself a little more accountable, to ensure I get off to the best start I can have by embracing the good habits and dropping the bad! So please, go ahead and read but don't judge me!

Starting with the good, I've been exercising regularly which we all know is beneficial in many ways, not only do I feel like I'm in fairly decent shape but I'm also healthy #winning. I've yet to actually join a gym as I've been trying to convince myself to try out a new gym but then on the other hand, I'm familiar with the current gym I'm using which has it's positives and negatives. I've got plenty of time to try though and when I muster up the courage to venture into a new gym I'll let you know. Isn't that weird? I'm so comfortable in the weights section of my usual gyms but take me to somewhere knew and I'll cower away as though I've never held a dumbbell - weird right?

Okay so the not so good, a few people have told me I drink too much, parents included. I've always laughed it off but thinking about it I'm always so up for a drink which I guess isn't a bad thing if you know your limits - which I clearly don't oops. So I'm vouching to myself I'll have a little more self control and consume a little less!

Another thing I've been labelled as is a shopaholic, I won't deny it, in the past I've had such an unhealthy relationship with shopping. I used to spend  waste so much money on clothes, I don't want to count the number of items I've bought and never worn... From shoes to shirts and dresses I always found new clothes made me feel happier and better about myself which is so stupid 'cause people won't notice if you've worn a top more than once 😆 (which I was so scared people would and judge me for it!). Today has been one of those days where I've really felt like I needed a pick-me-up and I've fought the temptation to do a spot of online shopping  alllll day. And I won wooo! Good thing too because I have zero storage space atm (try moving home again uuurgh) and I'm low on funds. YAY. But I'm alive, I'm well, my bank balance will thank me and I won't have to deal with shoving more things under my bed.

I've accepted I'll never be a fab blogger because I'm so inconsistent but I like to spill my thoughts onto a page every now and again, and hopefully I'm not offending anyone in doing so!

So, here's to the next few years, and to accepting the good habits all have and working on losing the bad ones.
Ursula x

Five Things I'd Like To Thank My Mother For

As you've probably guessed this is going to a bit of a soppy tribute to my mother! As it's Mother's Day I thought I'd say thank you for five rather non-trivial things I'm ever grateful for. Whilst I'm so lucky to have a woman who has fed, clothed, housed and supported me for 21 plus years there's so much else my mum has done for me.

#1 Thank you for encouraging me to try so many different things as a child. With the exception of sport (well I mean you tried but let's face it I was having none of it) my mum encouraged me to take part in so many activities, from flute and piano lessons, dance lessons to being a girl guide, throughout my childhood. So I might not have been the worlds best ballet dancer but I did achieve a number of things. In addition to actual achievements I learnt the importance of hard-work and dedication, I also learnt to appreciate other people's talents and my own.

#2 Thank you for supporting me in everything I do. From the obvious financial support to the emotional support you're always there to tell me I can do this, you've never prevented me from doing anything I wanted to do. From day one when I looked through University prospectuses and said "I want to go to Reading" you supported me in getting there and once I was there you supported me through the tough times and were there to celebrate with me at my graduation.

#3 Thank you for trying to educate me culturally. Yes I may have complained once or twice when we traipsed around castle after castle in the bleak Welsh weather, or frowned when you said we were off to ANOTHER art gallery in Cornwall. But truthfully, I'm so glad you did! Now you probably wouldn't believe me if I told you I enjoyed walking round new towns and discovering old history but there's a first for everything.

Here's a snap of one of our most recent outings :D

#4 Thank you for bringing me up to be the person I am today. I always remember reading the "Children learn what they live" poem as a child, it's always stuck with me. Thank you for being patient with me whilst I was a stroppy teenager, thank you for working hard at everything you do, and most of all thank you for being polite, kind, caring, and understanding. If I turn out to be half the woman you are I'll be happy!

#5 Thank you for giving birth to me. (Ew I know) If you hadn't I wouldn't be able to say thank you. Hopefully I'm going to make you proud as pie. Not only that, but thank you for my darling siblings too, growing up with them may have been testing at times but I know I'm so lucky to have all of you!

I know, you can all stop throwing up now. I guess that's another thing I have my mum to thank for, I'm such a soppy git when I want to be. Hope you all have a lovely day with your mummas!
Urs xxxxxxxxxx

Just Another Week

Hey guys,
Made it to the end of the week phew!
This week's been a hectic one for me so I thought I'd write a short and sweet little post reflecting on how far I've come recently. This week I attended my first assessment center, yes I know entering the real world, scary stuff right? No I'm not going to disclose much about it I guess you'll have to wait and see! Here's what I will say though, it was a great experience and I loved putting on my suit (those who've heard about the suit will understand my excitement regarding this!). I think I may be coming to terms with the fact that I can't remain a student forever and it's inevitable I'll have to say goodbye to my lovely life of studying. Until I do a PhD (possibly, we'll see).
Here's a cute pic of me in my suit (pose was on request of my mother)

This week I also managed to squeeze in a trip to Reading, where I was lucky enough to catch up with two of my wonderful friends who're still in Reading. Although it'd been a while since I'd seen them, like true friendship, it felt as though nothing had changed and it was so lovely to see them and catch up. Promise it won't be left that long again girls!
I cannot stress how more organised I feel in comparison to my scatty self a year ago, I think I bought a diary and maybe wrote my name in it whereas now I actually use my diary to keep myself informed of all my plans and deadlines. One of my housemates had a diary and I was so impressed with how useful it was to her and I can only say thank you because now I've gotten myself into the good habit of writing everything in there and reviewing it before I start my week so I know exactly what's happening.
In an attempt to organise my personal life I'm having a bit of a clear out, mainly of clothes. So if anyone reading this wants any garms I an abundance of clothes all in decent condition that could do with a good home! It's always hard for me to say goodbye to clothes because they're associated with so many memories but I guess what I've realised is that those memories are my memories in my head anyway so why do I need a dress to remind me of that time we went to *insert cheap restaurant* for so-and-so's birthday!
So to summarise, I've had a busy but enjoyable week and I'm on my way to becoming a real adult (still have a long way to go ahaha)!
Ta for reading as always!
U

Living Positively

Hey,
I'm never very good at starting these posts like what do I say "Hey guys it's a drizzly Monday and I'm full of a stinking cold!"? Well I guess I just did the hard bit.
This post is about positivity and how it's not just a mind set but something you can actively work towards. Most people who know me will say I'm a bubbly, happy, chatty individual but there are times when I'm the complete opposite, I'm one of the worst cry babies I know but I'm trying to cry a little less haha.

I'm no psychologist but I can't count the amount of times I've given the following advice to friends "Just try and keep smiling, the more you make yourself smile the sooner you'll find yourself smiling without realising.". Like most people, I suck at following my own advice so as of today I've adopted this outlook and every time I notice I'm not smiling I'm just going to smile to myself - yes this might result in a slight Cheshire cat resemblance but it's for a good reason!

                                  

        

In another attempt to be more positive I've started doing some "adult colouring" (it may be "adult" but not like that guys c'mon...). I mentioned that I'd read that colouring was a great way to de-stress and relax to mum so naturally she bought me a book for Christmas, it's "The Art of Mindfulness, Happy and  Energising Colouring" and it really works, much to the amusement of one of my dear pals. During exams I completed two full pages and started another two, I know I really should finish one before a start another but hey you can't always live by the rules. Sometimes I just did a bit for a break from studying and other times I did it to calm myself down the night before an exam and it was as if I could feel all my stresses flowing through the pencil onto the paper and right outta my life 🙋🏼

I've always been a fan of incense, much to my mum's displeasure, and quite often I find myself just watching the smoke whirl upwards in a spiraling fashion and it's strangely soothing and relaxing. Couple this with a relaxation playlist from Spotify and after half an hour I feel so refreshed and my outlook on life is rosy I highly recommend it! Sometimes I'll go a little crazy and listen to music, colour and have incense burning in the background - is this overkill?  Nah, when it comes to positivity I don't think there is such a thing, what I'm hoping to highlight in this post is that it's about finding the little things that make you feel positive, some of the positivity challenges on the internet are a little intense I'll give you that, realistically I'm not going to sit for twenty minutes listing five things I'm thankful for, 3 positive things I did today and two positive qualities someone else has every day. But I will do these little things like wake up and say "Today, I'm going to smile and be happy!".

Something I'm sure you'll all agree with me is that tidying has to be one of the best ways to feel better about yourself, I'm a terrible creature when it comes to my room, I'm far too materialistic for the size of my room. However I'll go through phases where I do my best to tidy my room and usually in an attempt to clear my head or just when I'm fed up of not being able to find the top I bought yesterday...

I hope after reading this blog you've embraced the positive outlook on life and if not, there's always tomorrow! 

Peace out xx