PhD to wannabe socialite...

Good evening guys!

So I'm aware it's been a few weeks since I posted, it's definitely been a busy few weeks so I'm sorry about that. I've been finding my feet and whilst it's all be such fun it's also been quite intense, I'm gonna give a little run down of what I've been up to and also how I've been managing my time! As time management can really make or break your progress.

What have I been up to I hear you asking, well here's the exciting stuff. Reading. I've been doing a lot of reading. And by that I do not mean casually skimming a book here and there. I mean true academic reading. I'm sure lots of you are aware of what I mean by that but for those of you that don't, what I mean by academic reading is the process of first of all finding relevant information, digesting that information, and making notes and processing such info. It's quite amazing how long properly reading something can take, it's easy to spend hours on a couple of papers because either they're majorly interesting or incredibly complex to understand. The process of passing your eyes across the words might not actual take all that long but note taking, recording what you read, how you found it, any comments you may have really does take a while. Most researchers will tell you they have a database of what they read, when they read, why they read the paper and any thoughts they had as a result of reading the paper. Notes notes notes. So important! What's also important is collating all your thoughts which I'm currently in the process of doing, I've read a fair amount and now I'm ready to let that spill out of my brain.

Other academic stuff, meetings, meetings, seminars, lectures, training, etc etc.

Aside from all that desk time what else have I been doing I hear you wonder. Not going to lie, I've probably spent far too long in the gym. It's just so easy to waste hours upon hours in a gym when you not only have a workout to do but also people to socialise with. I'm so glad I joined as not only do I benefit from a structured training programme but I also get to train with some awesome people. My lesson from this is always going to be about how matching hard work with socialising will always make for a well balanced life. I won't bang on about lifting too much as I'm still a novice but it's soo rewarding when numbers go up 🙌.

Oh, and of course I can't forget to mention my fave thing foooood, I've eaten out waaay too much lately. I can't help it as I absolutely love spending time with my pals and especially when it's over a good meal. In the last couple of weeks I've been out for Thai multiple times, pizza, tapas, chinese, steak, and a good burger to mention a few. Shit. Sometimes I wonder why I'm not lean then I remember ha ha. 

Always remember that work life balance. Read a good paper? Have a glass of wine. Wrote a few hundred words? Grab some sushi. Delivered a seminar? Treat yo self to a long gym session. Whatever works.

The most important thing I've learnt about the way I work is that I need to manage my time very carefully and also to plan it! Every Sunday I spend a little time thinking about commitments I have scheduled during the week, the main research goals I want to achieve and how I'm going to compliment that with down time. Then, each evening I have a flick through my diary check whats going on the next day. This is so important to me as I'm able to mentally prepare myself for what's coming up, my diary is easily my best friend atm (love all u other besties too). Of course not every hour of my day is scheduled, although sometimes it feels like that. One thing I observed whilst working and I've noticed it here to, is the scheduling of "desk time", this is great for saying okay I'm going to be at my desk for a solid amount of time, this is great when you're an extremely busy person and need to reserve your time. Whilst I'm not that in demand it's still a good concept, I can mentally say to myself okay I'll spend two hours at my desk followed by a 20-30 minute break. I try my best at the start of each session to spend a little time thinking about what it is I exactly want to do and boy does it help. No point mindlessly opening google scholar if you don't know what you want to discover!

Lists. Lists are also the other key enable to me getting all ma stuff done. Whether it's a list for personal life stuff, such as "register to vote", "book haircut" or more specific academic stuff, lists are so useful for putting into perspective things that need to be achieved immediately as opposed to actions that are a little far into the future.


Hope one of you lovely lot found that enjoyable to read 😊 xx

Enjoy a cheeky pic of me and some friends I met the other weekend.

My biggest fear (and it's not spiders)

Hey chaps,

It's blog time! Get excited as this one's got a bit of grit to it, I'd like to talk about something that I'm sure there's a few of you out there can relate to. The fear of rejection. This is a fear I experience in every aspect of my life, from my career/academic life to my personal life, behind almost everything I do is the fear of rejection. So I'd just like to put it out there and address how I deal with it and maybe someone out there will relate.

I'm only 23 years old young but nonetheless I've experienced rejection in my career. From a young age I seemed to do pretty well for myself, I was successful in part time job applications, my university application, and my social life. Fast forward to my first proper job interview. I interviewed with British Airways, I'd passed the preliminary tests and made it all the way to Heathrow, my gosh it was daunting. Don't get me wrong I loved it, it was enjoyably corporate yet mildly intimidating. I think I knew when I walked out the room that I didn't get it, so of course I held back my tears for a long as possible. Then the tears came. I guess that's my first tip for dealing with rejection, let those tears out baby! Coming from a cry baby I guess that's easy for me to say but in all seriousness, crying is a great stress reliever and once the tears are dry you can start to think objectively about moving onward and upwards.

I've experienced rejection from scholarships and rejections from a PhD application, all of which can be incredibly demoralising! When you put hard work into something and it's not perceived as 'enough' that just doesn't feel great. One thing I've really worked hard at is rationalising things, for example, take an unsuccessful job application, there will be a reason you weren't selected for the post. I know upon reflection that in some instances I haven't possessed the crucial skills for a post when initially I thought I might. Dealing with rejection in this kind of way can really provide self-insights and provide opportunities for you to better yourself. Because let's face the world doesn't end if you don't get x job. Another will come along, and you never know it'll probably be even more your cuppa t!

So, from a different angle I'd like to talk about rejection in my personal life. One of the saddest things in life is losing a friend. I've lost one or two friends over the years, some have just drifted away and others have been slightly more drastic. It's very hard not to take it personally, it's like someone's saying "actually I don't like you and I don't want you in my life". Here, time is the best remedy, you'll be able to accept their decision and perhaps think okay I can understand that maybe we weren't ever going to be long lasting friends. Or if not, you'll find yourself thinking about it less and less.

Also, put your hand up if you've ever been rejected by a romantic interest. *both hands up*. That is a fact of life and I can accept that but especially since the rise of dating apps rejection is so blinking common. One of my biggest insecurities is that I'm always thinking "well, if they're not paying me attention they surely must be paying someone else attention", yes I know that's rather silly but hey I'm human! In these instances it's so important to remember that there are way bigger issues in the world and you aren't going to bloody die if someone doesn't text you back. Bring in the distraction activities, I love a distraction activity, something that gets you away from the life sucking social media (soz for being a hypocrite but sometimes it's good to have some time out), whether it's a gym sesh, wiring a blog post, reading a book or watching mindless tv shows - it all helps.

One thing to remember throughout your life is to celebrate the small wins, without the rejection those wins would not be half as rewarding as they are. Celebrate finding and reading an awesome academic paper (you know it could be the key to the research gap you've been looking for), celebrate doing well in an assignment, celebrate being healthy, having fabulous friends, hitting a PB (personal best) in the gym! In this short life we have so much that is worth celebrating.

I leave you with a picture representing one of my fave achievements at the moment. It's kinda nice being able to say I'm part one of the top ten institutions in the UK (*insert reference*).

As a parting thought, it occurs to me to question whether I'd really strive to be the best I truly can be if I had no fear of rejection?

So that's it, thanks for reading and remember you are fab and you can achieve so much.
Ursula x

Aaaaand breathe

So it's been just under 10 months since I last wrote a blog, that's kind of shocking isn't it? And whilst I wish I could say that it's been the best 10 months of my life and I've really found myself I'm afraid I can't. This isn't a blog of complete doom and gloom though! I just wanted to share what I've learnt and most importantly how I'm coming to terms with the fact that I am young, I am lost and I have plenty to be thankful for. 

Well then, what have I done? Well, I graduated (again) from Loughborough, I've been on a few short trips and I'm nearing the end of my internship. Most significantly I've not got a freaking clue as to what I want to do next. The notion that society should place less pressure on young graduates to find the job of their career and how my generation and others are more likely to have several jobs throughout our career is one that resonates with me. However, this is said by those who have successful careers! I find myself forever asking what I want from my life, do I want to be rich? Do I want to be successful? Wouldn't it be nice to have some kind of idea as to what I want to do with my life?

I know I am in a position many would argue is an incredible one to be in and I am not taking my position for granted. I have worked hard to get where I am, although I am ridiculously self critical and have never truly felt I deserved anything. Right now I'm thinking MAN you are such a drama queen but hey I'm just saying what's been on my mind for a while...

One thing that strikes me as important in terms of finding myself is doing something that puts me out of my comfort zone, I'm rather aware of the fact that I haven't really done anything to push myself and perhaps that's an explanatory factor in my dissatisfaction? And I don't think pushing myself in the gym counts, although it does make me feel good because endorphin's! A few weeks ago I wrote a list of things I wanted to achieve, it ranged from run a 5k to write another blog post (oh hey😉). I'm definitely working on the former and if you're reading this then I've achieved the latter! I reaaaaaaaaally want to travel at some point in my life but I think I'm far too busy wallowing in the feeling of being lost to get organised. Hoping to wake myself up a bit with this post I think!

A few things recently have thrown me off balance, I shall spare you the details but truthfully they've dulled my spark a bit. I never thought I'd say this but I do miss retail, I miss knowing I'll get that interaction with people, although it might not be meaningful but I'm a people person you know and not going to lie I miss the discounts. I thrive off talking to people, well, pleasant people har-har. At the moment I'd rather be anywhere but where I am right now, and I suppose I should accept that because life isn't all dandy and happy all the time is it? But I am healthy and I have wonderful family and friends so it's up to me to find what makes me super happy. 

This post has been majorly therapeutic to write as it's like just letting all my emotions out and anyone that knows me knows that I am THE MOST EMOTIONAL PERSON EVER, so even if you didn't enjoy reading this I enjoyed writing this (well maybe enjoyed isn't the right word but yano) xxxx

PS Here's a photo of my ab fab purchase from Cheltenham's vintage fair! Thanks Lou Lou's 💋