Undergraduate to PhD - what's new?

Hey pals,

Welcome to the next installment of "my PhD journey"!

As you can imagine I've had a range of responses from people when I tell them I'm doing a PhD - from "Wow, you must be so clever" to "You're just avoiding work aren't you?" I guess I wanted to address these, by saying that no I don't think I'm super clever, but I do enjoy research and the academic environment. Read on for some more of my thoughts and reflections on my PhD journey so far.

Lots of people will argue that a PhD is just an excuse to stay in academia and hold off entering the real world. Well let me say it now, they're not entirely wrong but there's so much more to it than that! As an undergraduate you are experiencing the beginning of what's possible within academia. I've said it before and I'll say it again - I love studying. Being able to read and immerse myself in knowledge is just rather rewarding. I've always been an advocate for reading, I still have a shelf full of Jacqueline Wilson books next to my bed (along side some more gripping stuff like the Belgariad series). So imagine having a whole academic library at your finger tips! One day you could be reading about modelling carbon footprints in supply chains and the same afternoon you could have a cheeky read up on the effect of cortisol in the body.

As an undergraduate student, most people are starting to deepen their knowledge of a particular field, I appreciate for some students a degree is the means to a particular career however you're still investing in your knowledge of that area. So why continue studying with a PhD? For many people an undergraduate degree and the university experience is enough to set them up and instill a desire to begin their career outside of academia, but for some - like me, it's enough to say "I want to contribute to this body of knowledge, I want to be an expert in a field so I can pass that expertise on to those studying in the future".

So I guess what I'm saying is that whilst a PhD is an extension of postgraduate taught and undergraduate study it's got some major differences. Firstly, there is no such thing as a syllabus, this can be both a blessing and a curse, on one hand you have the freedom to study whatever you wish but on the other hand you can lose so much time to reading irrelevant papers! It's a mentally resource intensive journey, I've only been at it for three weeks but from my experience and from observing those around me I can say it takes commitment and drive. For the first few weeks I'm trying to establish good practices now so that when I'm slightly further in my journey I don't have to force myself out of bad habits (if you're interested in reading about such habits check out my earlier post - Old habits die hard).

Besides being less guided study what's different about a PhD from undergraduate study? Well for one, the opportunities to work collaboratively with researchers from other disciplines. This isn't something I have personally done however I have witnessed multiple exchanges where researchers have discovered someone else in a different discipline looking at similar areas of research. Totally furthering my love for knowledge sharing, it's great to see how people are open to communicating and sharing their ideas! One of the other pluses is the ability to check out what else is happening as in other departments, I reckon this is true for most universities but I'm not sure how many undergrads would take advantage of this - as a member of the university you can attend any lecture you wish. I've toyed with the idea of attending lectures probably not directly related to my field of research but are in areas I find myself interested in. Obviously my research comes first but I read some advice somewhere (don't worry if this was a legit paper I'd reference this 😏) that mentioned how it was important to read and study things other than that directly related to your research.

Sorry if this post has been super boring and less emotionally intensive than you were anticipating! I do hope this isn't the case and I hope someone out there is enjoying this and getting some insight into PhD life!

Ursula x

Aaaaand breathe

So it's been just under 10 months since I last wrote a blog, that's kind of shocking isn't it? And whilst I wish I could say that it's been the best 10 months of my life and I've really found myself I'm afraid I can't. This isn't a blog of complete doom and gloom though! I just wanted to share what I've learnt and most importantly how I'm coming to terms with the fact that I am young, I am lost and I have plenty to be thankful for. 

Well then, what have I done? Well, I graduated (again) from Loughborough, I've been on a few short trips and I'm nearing the end of my internship. Most significantly I've not got a freaking clue as to what I want to do next. The notion that society should place less pressure on young graduates to find the job of their career and how my generation and others are more likely to have several jobs throughout our career is one that resonates with me. However, this is said by those who have successful careers! I find myself forever asking what I want from my life, do I want to be rich? Do I want to be successful? Wouldn't it be nice to have some kind of idea as to what I want to do with my life?

I know I am in a position many would argue is an incredible one to be in and I am not taking my position for granted. I have worked hard to get where I am, although I am ridiculously self critical and have never truly felt I deserved anything. Right now I'm thinking MAN you are such a drama queen but hey I'm just saying what's been on my mind for a while...

One thing that strikes me as important in terms of finding myself is doing something that puts me out of my comfort zone, I'm rather aware of the fact that I haven't really done anything to push myself and perhaps that's an explanatory factor in my dissatisfaction? And I don't think pushing myself in the gym counts, although it does make me feel good because endorphin's! A few weeks ago I wrote a list of things I wanted to achieve, it ranged from run a 5k to write another blog post (oh hey😉). I'm definitely working on the former and if you're reading this then I've achieved the latter! I reaaaaaaaaally want to travel at some point in my life but I think I'm far too busy wallowing in the feeling of being lost to get organised. Hoping to wake myself up a bit with this post I think!

A few things recently have thrown me off balance, I shall spare you the details but truthfully they've dulled my spark a bit. I never thought I'd say this but I do miss retail, I miss knowing I'll get that interaction with people, although it might not be meaningful but I'm a people person you know and not going to lie I miss the discounts. I thrive off talking to people, well, pleasant people har-har. At the moment I'd rather be anywhere but where I am right now, and I suppose I should accept that because life isn't all dandy and happy all the time is it? But I am healthy and I have wonderful family and friends so it's up to me to find what makes me super happy. 

This post has been majorly therapeutic to write as it's like just letting all my emotions out and anyone that knows me knows that I am THE MOST EMOTIONAL PERSON EVER, so even if you didn't enjoy reading this I enjoyed writing this (well maybe enjoyed isn't the right word but yano) xxxx

PS Here's a photo of my ab fab purchase from Cheltenham's vintage fair! Thanks Lou Lou's 💋